Yup . . . I did it again!

In truth, it isn’t that difficult to throw a great party at a 5-star beachfront hotel in Maui.

Breathtaking sunrises, technicolor sunsets and starry, starry nights . . . just choose a great menu, book a fabulous band and everyone will go home happy . . . right?

One little boy (who I will not identify by name because he’s now a strapping college senior!), spent the entire performance trying to keep his lava-lava (sarong) from falling down.

Yeah . . . ’98 was a great finale. But I can’t repeat it. Gotta create a new legend this year!

We started off with a delightfully casual kickoff party on the beachfront lawn on Sunday. It was Father’s Day so I encouraged the guys to wear their wildest Hawaiian shirts for the “Wackii Aloha Shirt” Contest.  Awards were presented a couple of nights later – the winners were thrilled to receive unique trophies: dashboard hula dolls affixed to wooden bases.

Winners (and inset of the trophy) of the “Wackii Aloha Shirt Contest”

This little beauty was eager to don a grass skirt and dance the hula for her daddy . . .

Charming keiki dancer

And I hired “Melon Head” – a guy in green face-paint wearing a fruity headdress. He sat for two hours as part of an elaborate centerpiece of tropical fruit on the buffet table.  As unsuspecting guests came up to the table, he’d pop up with a corny joke:

     “What did the fruit tree say to the farmer?”

     “Stop picking on me.”
… or …

     “Why was the little strawberry crying?”

      “Because his parents were in a jam.”

… or …

     “What happened when the grape got stepped on?”

     “It let out a little whine.”

Melon Head

For the farewell I decided to use my all-time favorite, can’t-miss, wildly-popular, ace-in-the-hole entertainer. The guy who played at my wedding and my 25th, 30th and 35th CTP anniversary parties. He’s the guy who will play at my wake someday in the (hopefully) distant future.

Yeah – THAT guy! And, since some of these people have heard him perform before, he has to be a surprise. We will keep the party indoors because the hotel has a 9 PM noise curfew – and I don’t want this party ending so early. I order a LED dance floor that will pulse to the beat of the music. Decorations will include neon candles that change colors by remote control, dozens of glowing orbs and some really cool neon-colored electroluminescent wire to illuminate the edges of the tables and around doorways.

I hired Maui’s best slack-key guitarist to entertain during the cocktail reception on the pool deck. To ensure that nobody has to wait for a drink at the bar, waiters circulated with trays of a signature cocktail I’ve dubbed the “NECA Sunset.”

After the technicolor sunset, we ushered everyone into the ballroom where dinner was served family-style, featuring heaping platters of the chef’s interpretation of a “modern luau” menu.  Colorful uplights flooded the walls of the room. In the center of the room, the white dance floor was empty.  The darkened stage was a jumble of musical gear, with the electronic keyboard, mixer, synthesizer, and speakers connected by miles of cables and cords. A professional photographer circulated through the room, snapping portraits.

Just outside the ballroom, I waited with my mystery entertainer, who I’d “wired” with neon LED wire. Although I envisioned him glowing head to toe like a neon Michelin Man, he was illuminated only from the waist up. The dress rehearsal had been rather hilarious, as he tried to walk (unsuccessfully) with his legs bound with wire. (At this point, there were more than a few references to bondage … for which he was going to increase his fee!)

As soon as the plates are cleared by the wait staff, my plan is to open the door – which is a signal for the technician to switch off the lights. The entertainer – glowing with LED wire – will bound into the darkened room, asking: “Does anybody know a good electrician?”

Sitting at his keyboard, playing the opening notes of Earth, Wind & Fire’s “Boogie Wonderland,” the LED dance floor will light up the room and pulse to the beat. There will be a mad rush to the dance floor, which will stay busy and rocking until the crew comes at 11 PM to do the tear-down.

There’s a party goin’ on!

The waiters are dispatched into the ballroom with trays of colorful glowing orbs and glow sticks, which quickly become dance floor props. The LED wire is stripped from the table decor and is wound around and around some of the dancers.

Meanwhile, the dessert buffet opens in the adjacent Studio Kitchen, where the chef is flaming the spun-sugar crust of the creme brûlée. A barrista serves up specialty coffees. The barmen (they call them “mixologists” here) continue to fill drink orders for the happy crowd.

Flamin’ the Coconut Creme Brûlée

Meanwhile, in another room adjacent to the ballroom, a crew has set up a mobile photo studio with hats, props and costumes. Guests stand in front of a green screen, where they dance, blow kisses and act silly for seven seconds. The action is isolated frame-by-frame, printed out on a special printer, put through a special cutter and bound into a half-inch thick book within minutes. When they “flip” through the book, they see the video clip they just created.

Kids of all ages had fun with Flip Books

How cool is that?

By this time, my high-energy entertainer that I’ve flown in from Vancouver, Andrew Johns, has wowed the crowd. He’s shed his wired-up jacket and is pumped up – bouncing furiously on his stool. With his talent on the keyboard and unbelievable vocal range, he performs all the great oldies: Bruce, Elton, Michael, Mick, Billy Joel, Bob Seger … and he doesn’t forget to play my favorite dance song, “You Can Call Me Al” by Paul Simon. Basically, if Andrew has heard it, he can play it!

The inimitable Andrew Johns!

We’re approaching the 11 PM witching hour and the party is still rocking. Some of these folks have very early flights tomorrow – but they don’t care. Andrew closes with his signature performance . . . (are you ready for this?):

Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody!”

And with that – it’s a wrap!  Another legendary party in the can!

Ohhhhh . . . how I love it when a plan comes together . . . . . .

Thanks for reading!  Comments?

p.s.  I’m not his talent agent, but Andrew Johns really, really  is as great as I describe.  (If I knew how to embed a video clip, I’d do it here!)